Web of Addiction

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Web of Addiction

~ Journal entry, 1993

Each morning It beckons me.

Even as the deliverance of sleep is severed by daylight’s waking It cries out my name. And I am impelled to answer. For I have allowed its possession of my very existence.

The day evolves around It. It is the alpha and the omega and all that is between. It encircles my life, defining my friendships. It determines where I go and how long I stay, eluding all that I truly enjoy.

It defies the logic of any being, yet holds a devout following. It makes us ill, yet we crave It. We wish It away, yet fear its absence.

It is Satan’s tool. Methodically robbing one of life within life. Cunningly robbing ones potential. With each step, each breath, each heartbeat, we are incomplete.

What element exists within the mind which allows ones spirit to become so frail? To evoke the need for ill-health? Apathy…defiance? The source is still a mystery to me.

Once snared by the web of addiction, I held the erroneous belief that I could break free at will. But it is will that It feeds upon, deadening the senses, overpowering its prey.

What was once a foolish action, will forever be, a lifelong battle.

☼ ☼ ☼

~ Good news – turns out “It” isn’t a lifelong battle. I smoked for 27 years … quit smoking now for ten years.

Quitting isn’t easy. I gained weight. I was angry for the first nine months, craved my “faithful” companion each and every day for two years. And to this day I still LOVE the smell, love to inhale second-hand smoke (love those casinos:) But I am so very thankful that I did quit.

☞ Have you overcome a smoking addiction?

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